Q&A Speed Dating
1. What
is Speed Dating?
Speed Dating is an exciting, quick and non-pressured way to meet & date singles.
In one evening, you'll meet a variety of people, in brief, individual
one-on-one conversations.
2.
What are the advantages of Speed Dating?
You are guaranteed mini dates -- without the need for uncomfortable
ice-breaking. You avoid nightmare 2-3-hour blind dates, expensive dinners and
lunches with people where there is no chemistry.
3. How does Speed Dating work?
A group of singles - an equal number of men and women -- gather at a local bar.
The Bar is filled with "tables for two," and each table is numbered.
You will have a set amount of time of 5 minutes. Participants are also given
suggested topics to help break the ice.
At the end of the set time, your host will either ring a bell between rounds to let you know to move on to the next date. Participants
are asked to write on a form if they would be interested in seeing this person
again. This entails simply checking a 'yes' or 'no' box. The men then get up from their seats and move
to the next table, where another woman is waiting to meet them. After a number
of mini-dates, there's a 10-minute break. This is a
good time to enjoy some appetizers, get another drink and as time allows play
an ice-breaker game and/or your hostess will have a drawing. Remember to write
down the names of the people you meet during intermission on your score card.
After the break you'll enjoy 2-3 more rounds.
If
both sides checked off the 'yes' box, your host will let participants know
within 48 hours which matches have been made, and give each side the other's
email address, or email address and phone number.
4. 5 minutes doesn't seem like a lot of time, is
it enough?
Remember, you're
not on a date, you're on a mini-date! This is a great way to see if you'd be
interested in a full date or just more conversation later. Sometimes 5 minutes
is way too long if you know what we mean. But in 5 minutes most people can tell
if there's physical chemistry, if they like the way someone speaks, if the
person is mature and intelligent, and if they want to know more. At which point
they'd select YES on the score card and hopefully the other person would do the
same!
5. Is it advisable to attend a SoulMates Hampton Roads Event more than once?
Yes, if you don't meet that special someone the first time around. You wait a
couple weeks in hopes that there will be new people.
6. Is
anything provided at the event?
Yes, we
provide appetizers, scorecards, pens and nametags. You will
also receive a ticket for a drawing.
7. Can you
pay at the door? When should you sign up?
You must
sign up in advance. Sign up as soon as you know you can attend an
event. Remember: each session can only accommodate up to 15 males and 15
females; if you don’t reserve your spot ASAP you’ll miss the event and will
have to wait for the next one! Ladies tickets sell out QUICKLY!
8. What
should you wear?
Dress to
impress. Don't wear jeans, shorts, flip flops or sneakers, You are there to find dates.
Dress like you are going out on a 1st date
9. What
should I not talk about at the dating event?
In order to create a safe, comfortable and enjoyable evening for everyone,
there are 3 subjects that you are not allowed to discuss at any time during an
dating event. We use "play names" at the event..You must NOT ask for anyone's REAL NAME, their phone number, or their address. If you meet
someone who you would like to go out with, you may inform them that you’ll be
putting their name on your score card, but don’t pressure them to put your
name on their card. If they are interested they will put your name on their
card. Remember, everyone at the event is interested in meeting people to date.
If you’re having a mini date with someone who you’re not interested in dating
again, take the opportunity to learn something from them. Just because there’s
no love interest, you might be surprised by how interesting people can be if
you ask the right questions!
Determining Your Matches
at the SoulMates Hampton Roads Event Party
Be honest
with yourself. You are basically going to a party at a nightclub where
you are in a forced setting making conversation with every person of the
opposite sex. This is not the most natural way to meet people. It
is an ice-breaker and every person you meet is a total stranger. People are always on their best behavior and will try to make the best
impression. Do not treat these blind meetings as you would a
potential date with someone introduced by a friend. Your objective is
to find out as much as you can before you waste time and money in
pursuit. There are precautions you can take to make life safer You
may have had 15 dates in one night with some very nice people, but how many
would your really want to see again? As you circle hit or miss, ask
yourself the following:
- In addition to having a fun
conversation, does this person really have common interests?
- Am I choosing this person just because
they are pretty/handsome, well educated, or because of their profession/status
or income?
- What do I really like about this person
that impressed me in 10 minutes?
- Am I just marking this persons name as a
"yes" to have something marked so I get something out of the
evening?
- Does this person meet the criteria I
have for a serious relationship?
Make sure
you take good notes about each person as you are meeting a lot of people in one
evening. Treat your experience as you would online-dating. Be
friendly and cordial; don't divulge personal information until you get to know someone.
Don't tell people where you live or work until you have met with them again and
determined you want to date them.
After the SoulMates
Hampton Roads Event
1. Go
through the list of matches and your notes. If you haven't had dates
in awhile or haven't had much dating experience, you may feel like you won the
jackpot. Start getting real. If you had actually circled and
received 6-10 matches, start narrowing your matches. Particularly
if you are male and on a budget. Unless you meet every match for
coffee or ice cream you can easily invest another $150-200 in drinks and
lunches beyond what you paid to attend the SoulMates Hampton Roads event.
If you meet each one for dinner you are looking at $40-$100 for dinner.
This adds up. Remember as you go through this process that you met
the person for 10 minutes. They are a total stranger and you know less
about them than you would through on line dating, other than you like the way
they look and their personality.
2. After
you receive your matches from your host, and narrowed down the ones that you
really are interested in, We recommend you contact your matches
immediately. If you are female, email is a good ice breaker to let him
know you would like to meet again, especially if the guy is shy.
3. Wait
no more than 3 days after you receive your matches to make the initial contact.
If neither of you has contacted the other beyond that period of time, don't
assume the person is just busy. They have put other matches before you or
just did their own narrowing and decided you aren't really a match. Don't
take it personally. Remember, you were just meeting people for a few
minutes and trying to make a hurriedly make a guess as to whether you wanted to
see this person again. Many people will mark someone down as a
"yes" when they are really "unsure", think about it later
and change their mind.
4. Be
careful about giving up your personal information such as work email and phone
numbers. Remember, even if the person is nice at first glance, they are
a stranger, not a friend. If you are female, you may not want to give out
your phone number until after you have met for lunch first.
5. Don't
invest your precious time and money into people you don't know.
Instead of setting up a meeting right away, call to say hi. Ask the match
if they have some time to talk. Mention that you just wanted to call and say
hi, that you enjoyed meeting them. This is your chance to pre-screen
before you waste your time on dates that go nowhere. Have a set of
5-10 questions you really want to find out about them to screen further.
Keep the conversation between 15 and 20 minutes, enough to find the information
you are looking for. Take scrupulous notes on each match as you talk to them,
so you’ll remember and don't mix them up. Thank the match for talking to you
and end the conversation with "I am in the process of calling all my
matches right now." "I will know my schedule more next week if
you would like to do coffee or meet for drinks." "Can I call
you again?" Once you have pre-screened your matches
narrow your choices again.
6. After
the pre-screen, ask yourself who you really want to meet again. If
you had 5-10 matches and then decided after screening on the phone that you
only have interest in 3, call those matches and set up a one hour
mini-date. Keep it very casual, quick and light. If the match
suggests dinner, tell them you are busy and you have a small amount of time
right now and are trying to meet each match. After you have had a chance
to meet each match for your hour date, you will be able to tell if the person
is really worth an evening of your time and finances invested on a dinner,
theater, or other date. Make sure to send a nice email to your other
matches telling them that you enjoyed meeting them and talking to them further
but after some thought and consideration, you have decided that you aren't a
match. You don't have to tell them why.
Remember to have FUN and be Open Minded!
